


Life's Sweetest Reward

by FleetSparrow



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Semi-explicit Masturbation, christmas exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2014-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:10:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2958023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/pseuds/FleetSparrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going undercover on a "Couple's Cruise" for a case didn't seem like a problem for Batman and Nightwing, until one factored in two painfully restrained crushes, embarrassing trips of the tongue, a single bed, and, of course, the mandatory PDA Booth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for our Bruce/Dick Christmas 2014 Exchange. This fic came out much *much* longer than anticipated, but that's a good thing, right? 8D

A light wind swept in off the ocean via the underground river that ran through the lowest level of the Batcave, bringing with it the chill of early morning.  The summer had been mild so far, as if spring hadn’t fully left yet.  These were good days for patrols, neither too cold during the long nights nor too hot for the days when the family was up until dawn.  It was one of those mild mornings when Bruce pulled Dick aside after the others had gone to bed to speak with him on a private case.

While Dick looked over the paper files beside him on one of the console desks, Bruce pulled up the file on the main computer screen.  “Antonio Della Chiara.  Age, 62.  Patriarch of a relatively small-time Metropolis crime family that's looking to branch out to other cities."

"Gotham being one of the other cities," Dick said, looking up at the screen.

"Exactly.  I want to know what he's planning and what kind of resources he has."  Bruce pulled up a slightly garish advertisement for a cruise ship.  "’Seven Sails of Love, the love boat for rekindling romance.'  Della Chiara will be on this cruise with his new wife, Claudia Cordova, age 27.  This is our best bet for interrogating him.  He has only booked passage for himself and his wife, so he will be without bodyguards."

"A couples cruise?  Huh."  Dick ducked his head, trying to still his suddenly fast-beating heart.  "So we've got an undercover cruise ship job?  Sounds like old times."

The corner of Bruce's mouth quirked up.  "We will be going undercover as Mr. and Mrs. Adam McCloud, newlyweds from--"

"Bruce."

"Yes, Dick?"

Dick pursed his lips to keep himself from smiling.  "You know I'm not sixteen anymore, right?  I don't think I'll be able to keep up that kind of disguise for..."  He glanced up at the ad on the screen.  "Two weeks?  Not without raising more questions than we need."

Bruce frowned.  "I hadn't thought of that."

"We can always go as Mr. and _Mr._ Adam McCloud."

Bruce kept his gaze fixed on the screen in front of him.  "Yes, that is a possibility.  The company did say they are open to all couples."

"Then that sounds like it'll work."

"We might have to rethink how we approach him.  I'm not sure if he'd be open to that."

"Then we'll figure out something there," Dick said, shrugging.  "Who are you leaving to handle Gotham?"

"Red Robin and Batgirl will be patrolling the south and west sides."

"OK, actual question, who's handling Damian for two weeks?"

Bruce smiled just a little.  "He's going to be training and patrolling with Black Bat.  His suggestion, actually."

"Cass likes the idea, too?"

"She's already started planning her lessons."

Dick grinned.  "Then it sounds like they're all in good hands."

"I'll be installing a satellite connection on the ship before we board," Bruce said, turning back to the computer.  "We'll have full access to the Batcomputer and a line of communication if we ever need backup."

"Sounds good.  What’s the room arrangements?"

"We'll be two rooms down from Della Chiara.  The room between us has been booked by a couple who ‘won't be leaving their room’ during the trip.  We'll use that room as our main base to protect our cover if anyone visits our room."

“This is gonna be a long job,” Dick said, sitting back on the console table.

“It’ll be worth it for the intel.”

Dick looked up at the advertisement on the monitor, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest.  “Yeah.  Intel.”


	2. Chapter 2

Dick was just putting in his last contact when Bruce grunted behind him.

“‘Chester’.”

Dick snorted.  “You don’t have to sound so enthusiastic about it, really.”

Bruce glanced at him in the mirror.  “There aren’t any other names you can use?”

“What’s wrong with it?”  Dick shrugged.  “Besides, I’ve been Chester before.  He’s a good character.”

“Because he’s a useful alias doesn’t mean he’ll make a good persona,” Bruce said, gently pressing his false sideburns into place.  “And your name will stick out.  We’re trying to blend in, Dick.”

“OK, _Matches_.”

Bruce caught Dick’s eyes in the mirror, his gentle glare met with a teasing smirk.  “You’re really going to keep it, aren’t you?”

Dick smiled.  “I sure am.”

Bruce let out a long-suffering sigh and shook his head, but Dick was pretty sure he caught a glimpse of a smile in Bruce’s reflection.


	3. Chapter 3

The ship was luxury embodied.  From gleaming walls and polished hardwood floors to sprawling lounge chairs and plush carpet, every inch of the ship was spotless and beautiful.  Although it was on the small side, it boasted a large number of entertainment and leisure activities all meant to encourage couple participation and provide ample bonding opportunities.  With only a few hundred passengers onboard, the cruise was definitely designed with intimacy in mind.

The steward led Messrs. McCloud to their cabin, chatting politely the entire way.  “It is a very relaxing trip, I promise you.  I’ve been working these cruises for six tours now, and every couple has told me they feel so much closer and contented by the time they leave us.”

“That sounds wonderful!  It’s just what we’re lookin’ for, isn’t it, Adam?”  Chester McCloud gazed up at him, his brown eyes shining adoringly.

Adam smiled lovingly back at him.  “Exactly that, Ches.”

The steward made something like a small coo at how sweet their love was.  “I’m sure you two will be _very_ happy with us.”

“They said at booking that everythin’ was OK, but…” Chester glanced around, although there was nobody else paying attention to them.  “There won’t be any _problems_ with us bein’ on the ship, right?”

“Oh, none at all, sir!”  The steward took a breath, her eyes going slightly glassy as she prepared to start what was clearly a company-required speech.

“We make sure that our guests know that this cruise is open to _all_ couples, so I assure you, there won’t be any harassment here.  If there are any unfortunate incidents, please come to any one of the stewards and they will be more than happy to help you file a report with security.  We take such matters _very_ seriously and the offending parties will be dealt with _immediately_.  Seven Sails of Love cruises wants _every_ couple to feel safe and secure when traveling with us.”

“Then I think we’ll be just fine,” Adam said, squeezing Chester’s arm just a little too tight.  Chester just smiled and leaned into him a little more until they arrived at their cabin.

It was a beautiful room.  A loveseat sat against the far wall just below a large bi-hinged window.  In the center of the room was a low table surrounded by several comfortably plush chairs.  A sideboard fully stocked with drinks led into the kitchenette, which had a small breakfast table of its own.  Just past the kitchen was the bathroom all in white marble, with an oversized tub that was clearly meant for two.  Chester chuckled, waggling his eyebrows at Adam as the steward brought them into the bedroom.

The bedroom with the one bed.

Right.

Couples.  Romance.

Bed.

Dick was only pulled out of his daze when he heard Adam sending the steward away with a sizeable tip.

He stood there just inside the bedroom and waited, blinking slowly over his colored contacts.  One of them was starting to dry out; he’d have to switch to the spare pair until he could figure out what was wrong with it.  Still, it was better to focus on the unpleasant itching in his eye than the large bed in front of him.

Adam-- _Batman_ \-- came in, sweeping the room for bugs or hidden cameras.  When he’d finished, he folded the scanner down until it once again looked like a watch.

When he looked back over at Dick again, he was Bruce.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to keep that accent up the whole trip?”

Dick laughed at Bruce’s skeptical eyebrow raise.  “Well, I _could_ if I applied myself,” he said, still grinning.  “But if you’re worried, I’ll lighten it a little.  Say I’m from Dallas instead.  I’ve only spoken to her, so it shouldn’t be noticed.”

“Let’s hope not,” Bruce said, but there wasn’t much weight in his words; he trusted Dick’s abilities.  “We should set up our base of operations now and make sure it’s secure.  That’ll give us more time to investigate the ship later.”

“Right-o, boss!”  Dick grabbed the second suitcase and followed Bruce to the main room.  “I didn’t know cruise ships had adjoining cabins.”

Bruce smirked.  “Some suites do, if you have the money for them..”

“And if you’re gonna rent out a suite….”  Dick let out a low whistle.  “For a small-time mob boss, Della Chiara must be loaded.”

“That’s why we’re investigating him.”

With a quick undoing of the lock, the living room side wall slid open and the two entered the next room, a reflected layout of their own.

“They alternate,” Bruce said.  “Della Chiara’s room is laid out like ours.”

Dick nodded appreciatively.  “Nice planning, B.  This really is starting to feel like the old days.”

“Not the ‘good old days’?” Bruce asked, glancing up from the computer he was setting up.

Dick grinned.  “That depends how the trip goes.”

It took half an hour for them to secure and set up the second room.  The door lock had been changed so that even the master key wouldn’t be able to unlock it.  They set up audio recorders along the wall connected to Della Chiara’s room in the hopes that they would catch anything said, at least in the bedroom.

“We’ll install the bugs in his room tomorrow,” Bruce said, unfolding their costumes.  “That’ll give him a day to feel secure in case he sweeps it.”

Dick held a headset up to one ear, trying to hear what they might be picking up.  “You sure it’s a good idea to have things record the bedroom?  Seems like we’re gonna get a lot more than we really want.”

“I’ve set the computer to skip over any unintelligible words as well as a few keywords to ignore.”

Dick tried not to snicker at the image of Bruce programming the computer to recognize sex talk.  “You think it’s gonna pick up anything else?”

“People feel comfortable in intimate situations.  They’re more likely to discuss important information if they feel safe with someone.”

“Loose lips sink ships,” Dick said.

Bruce chuckled.  “Let’s hope these just sink _him_.  I’d rather not have to call Arthur to help rescue a couple’s cruise.”

“But it’d be a fun story!”

Satisfied all the recorders were working properly, Dick returned the headset to the console.  “So, do we get to explore now?”

“I think we can scope out the ship, yes.”

Dick wrinkled his nose.  ‘Scoping.’

Way to take all the fun out of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Once the ship had left port and was steadily on its way, Adam and Chester headed out to take in the sights and activities and, of course, give Batman and Nightwing a chance to get a feel for the ship.  It took them an entire deck before they even glimpsed Della Chiara and his wife.  The couple had stopped just outside “La galerie d’art érotique” admiring the statues of lovers framing the doorway.

“How would you like to get into that position?” Antonio said to his wife, pulling her closer to nibble at her neck.

She laughed and patted his arm.  “I don’t think you’re acrobatic enough, darling.”

The statue was of two Grecian-style lovers wrapped in a passionate embrace.  The woman was bending down to kiss the man while he knelt at her feet, leaning back as he held her up high above him.  The couple stood there enjoying it long enough for Adam and Chester to join them.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” Adam said, just loud enough to be definitely heard by the Della Chiaras.

“They are!” Chester said, hugging Adam’s arm.  “Is the whole gallery like this?”

That seemed to catch the mobster’s attention.  “Ah, is this your first time?”  Antonio guided his wife over to them, smiling widely at the couple.

“Yeah,” Chester says, giving him an equally bright, if slightly shy, grin.  “Adam just got back from overseas and, well, we’d gotten married right before he left, so this like our belated honeymoon.”

“That’s wonderful.  Isn’t that wonderful, Claudia?”

“Wonderful.”

Antonio looked up at Adam as if sizing him up.  “Military man?”

“Private security.  I had a six month training course to complete.”  He smiled.  “Top secret location, I’m afraid.”

“Well, it’s good you two have the time together now,” Antonio said.  “Ah, forgive me!  I haven’t introduced myself.  Antonio Della Chiara and my newest wife, Claudia.”  Claudia nodded politely.

“Adam McCloud,” he said, his precision training adding a sharpness to his name.  “And my husband, Ches.”

Dick was glad Chester was a nervous laugher, because it definitely hid his amusement at the slight disdainful emphasis Bruce had placed on his name.  “It’s a pleasure.”

“That it is,” Antonio said, gesturing towards the doorway.  “Shall we?”

The gallery was full of paintings and sculptures of varying sizes and styles, but all featuring passionate lovers.  As they walked through the gallery, Antonio nudged Chester.  “You know, you remind me a lot of my youngest.  I’ll be glad when he settles down with a nice man like yours.”

“I don’t know if they make any more like him,” Chester said.  “I had to snatch him up when I could.”

The hand rubbing his back squeezed him slightly, and Dick wasn’t entirely sure if that was Adam in his role or actually Bruce’s reaction.  He knew which one he was hoping for, though.


	5. Chapter 5

They parted ways with the Della Chiaras after the gallery, which Dick honestly was happy to leave.  It was a little too erotic for him, stuck with only his imagination instead of being part of an actual couple.  Better to explore the less arousing parts of the ship for a while.  He had half a mind to glance over and see if Bruce had been as… affected as him from the gallery, and it was with what could only be described as a Green Lantern-esque effort of will that he resisted.  It wouldn’t prove anything anyway, he reminded himself.  Natural physical reaction to erotic stimuli had nothing to do with how Bruce actually felt about him.

And wasn’t that a fun thought.

They finished their walk of the ship with just enough time to check the recorders and change for dinner.  The only audio they had picked up was Della Chiara telling the steward where to leave their luggage and some domestic chatter as they dressed for dinner; nothing important, but at least they knew the recorders were all working as they should.

The dining hall was enormous.  Large round tables were spread out throughout the room, just far enough apart so that the waiters could walk by and no one would run into each other.  A small orchestra was softly playing on a stage off to one side, giving the dinner the right amount of atmosphere.  There didn’t seem to be a seating arrangement as couples moved about to sit wherever they pleased.

From one of the tables near the stage, Antonio called Adam and Chester over.  “You two look a little lost.  Come on, join us!”

“That’s very nice of you,” Chester said, as Adam pushed in his chair.

“Ah, don’t think anything of it.  These things are more fun with extra company.”

“Have you been on a lot of them?” Adam asked.

"Many times," Antonio said, leaning over to kiss Claudia on the cheek.  "A cruise for every wife."

"I didn't know they'd been doing these things that long," Chester said. He clasped a hand over his mouth as if suddenly realizing what he’d said.  “Oh, sorry, I--”

Antonio bellowed a laugh and slapped Chester jovially on the back.  "You young people think you invented everything!  Believe me, they’ve been around a lot longer than you have.  The activities change, but the purpose stays the same.”

“It’s all about love,” Claudia said, pausing for a moment to share a kiss with him.

“That’s right, darling.”

Dick was pretty sure it was just part of the act, but for a second he swore Bruce’s jaw tensed as they kissed and stole a glance towards him.  Dick focused himself on the waiter that came around with water for their table instead.  It could very well be nothing; he’d been looking for signs of attraction from Bruce for so long he’d probably started to imagine them.

Dinner was surprisingly pleasant.  The food was excellent and the Della Chiaras were incredibly charming.  Antonio spent most of the dinner telling them about the various couples cruises he’d been on, which ones were good, and which ones only had horror stories to share.  By the time they finally left to return to their cabin, Dick had learned far more about cruises than he had ever cared to know.

Once the room was again swept for bugs, Dick started changing back into himself.  “It’s always annoying when the guy we’re after seems pretty OK.”

Bruce paused in removing his wig, and raised an eyebrow at Dick.  “Are you regretting this?”

“No, I’m just saying, he seems like a genuinely nice guy.  Just, y’know, a mob boss.”

Bruce chuckled.  “If it’s any consolation to you, he’s a crook, not a killer.  Apparently everyone’s nicer in Metropolis.”

“It’s all that sun they get over there.  It does something to them.”  Dick grinned.  “It bakes out their cynicism.”

“Must be it.”

Bruce pulled out a small notebook, checking off the items that had been accomplished.  “We have two hours before we need to meet the Della Chiaras for that moonlight walk they mentioned.  That’s the perfect time to start getting information on his family’s movements.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Dick said, laying down on the left side of the bed.  “I’m gonna nap for a bit, I think.  Wake me if the recorders catch something?”

There was an odd look in Bruce’s eyes when he turned to Dick, and for just a second, Dick thought Bruce had stopped breathing.

“Alright,” he said, finally.  “If nothing happens, I’ll wake you in an hour and a half.”

“Thanks.”

Dick watched Bruce head out to the living room of their cabin, but he couldn’t quite hear if the adjoining wall had opened or not.  He rolled over onto his side and stared at the empty pillow beside him.  Bedtime was going to be interesting.


	6. Chapter 6

Sure enough, it was 90 minutes exactly that Bruce came back.  It wasn’t actually necessary for him to wake Dick, not with Dick’s frighteningly precise internal clock, but he let Bruce do it anyway.  It felt nice and familiar, like it used to be when he was Robin.

He heard Bruce’s footsteps stop beside the bed.  He didn’t seem to be moving anymore, as if he was just staring down at Dick.  Dick was careful not to frown, and kept his expression as sleep-neutral as he could.  It was strange, Bruce just standing there silently, not trying to wake him or anything.  Dick was starting to wonder if he should open his eyes to end the awkwardness when he felt the heat of Bruce’s hand over his shoulder.  Bruce didn’t touch him, but just let his hand stay an inch or so away from Dick’s skin.

A moment later, Bruce grasped his shoulder.  “Time to get up, Dick.”

Dick opened his eyes sleepily, careful to keep it slow.  “Mornin’.”

Bruce smiled gently at him.  “Have a good rest?”

“Yeah.  Bed’s really comfy.”  He sat up, bouncing a little to illustrate his statement.  “It’s pretty nice.”

He could’ve sworn Bruce’s smile froze for a split second, but then Bruce patted his shoulder as if nothing happened.  “Put your face on.  We need to meet them on top deck.”

“On it.”

He had to admit, he was glad Bruce wasn’t already in full disguise yet.  It meant they could do it together, taking turns with the mirror to make sure everything was on right.  It felt kind of… couple-y.

At some point, he should probably stop thinking that.

The walk up to the top deck was nice, although the blast of night air that hit them when they reached it was more than a little shocking.  The Della Chiaras were waiting for them by a flagpole in the center of the deck.

“This is one of my favorite traditions,” Antonio said, once they were all together.  “The stars are bright, the moon is up, and the air is invigorating!  Perfect way to end a romantic evening.”

“I’ll say,” Chester said, looping his arm around Adam’s.  “It’s nice how open it all is.  I’m surprised more people aren’t out here.”

It was true, there were barely a quarter of the couples he’d seen at dinner up there, all spaced far enough apart to allow easy paths.

Antonio laughed.  “It’s because it’s only the first night.  Believe me, tomorrow it’ll be very crowded.  Tonight, everyone’s just, heh, settling in.”

“I’m sure we’ll ‘settle in’ well enough ourselves later,” Adam said, patting Chester’s hand.

“Ah, to be young again!”  Antonio shook his head, looking at Claudia fondly.  “You know I’m young in spirit, don’t you?”

She smiled.  “In spirit and in heart, love.”

He barked a laugh and kissed her cheek loudly.  “You see?  From the mouth of the babe.”

“We’re heading south-east,” Adam said suddenly, frowning up at the sky.  “I didn’t think we were making any stops.”

“We’re not.  It’s just a big private loop around the water.”  Antonio eyed him curiously.  “You find that from the stars?”

He nodded sharply.  “Part of my training.  In case of an emergency where it’s necessary to travel without tech, I have to be able to guide my charge to safety.”

Antonio nodded, clearly impressed.  “How long have you been doing this?  I know, what you do is top secret, but what sort of experience do you have?”

“I was recruited out of college because of my skill in reading situations and predicting their outcomes.  I was trained for two years, eighteen months of which was during my first bodyguard detail.  I’ve had ten charges in the last five years, thwarted three assassination attempts, and kept them all secure while they were in the country.”

He wrapped his arm around Chester.  “Ten months ago, I met him while doing company security and I decided it was time to look for a more stationary job.  That’s when I went overseas for training.”

Chester leaned his head on his shoulder.  “And it’s been the best month since he’s come back.”

“I’m happy for you two,” Antonio said.  He shared a look with Claudia before turning back to Adam.  “Where are you two living now?”

“Central, but we’ll be moving to Gotham any time now,” Chester said.  “That’s where Adam’s new job is.”

Antonio nodded slowly, frowning slightly in thought.  “You know, I’ve heard there are some very good prospects in Gotham.  I’ve been thinking about taking business there myself.”

Chester cocked his head.  “Oh, yeah?  What kinda business do you run?”

“Well, I’ve got a few,” he said.  “You see, I inherited my father’s moving company, and once I got that going well enough to run itself, I started into shipping.  My oldest runs that now, and she’s making ten times what I ever made off it.”  He smiled proudly.

“Now, I’ve got a little private courier service going, you know, for the big businesses.  They always need some kind of secrets passed around.”  He nudged Chester knowingly.  “But I’ve been looking at Gotham recently.  There’s an awful lot of big dogs there.”

“One of those big dogs is who Adam’s gonna work for.”

Adam pulled his arm.  “Ches!  I’m not supposed to talk about it.”

“Well, I didn’t say _who_ it was!”

“Oh, now, boys.  Don’t fight on our account,” Antonio said, gently easing them apart.  “This is your time for romance, not arguing!  Believe me, I didn’t hear anything.”

Adam nodded, still looking a little displeased.  “Thank you.  I don’t want to compromise anything before I even start.”

“I’m sorry, honey,” Chester said, cupping Adam’s face.  “I’ll keep quiet, I promise.  It won’t happen again.”

“There you go,” Antonio said, patting them on the backs.  “Lover’s spat resolved.  Believe me, when you’ve been married as long as I have, you learn to let things go very quickly.  It’s not worth holding a grudge on your partner.”

Adam rubbed Chester’s shoulder.  “We’ll make it up to each other, I know it.”

Chester smiled and leaned his head against his shoulder, while Dick internally screamed.


	7. Chapter 7

The Della Chiaras left first, wanting to hit the ship’s casino to wind down their night and warm up a bit before bed.  Bruce and Dick left five minutes after, making sure to leave enough time to get back to their room without accidentally running into them again.

The next hour was spent writing up their reports, adding in all the new information they’d received to the Batcomputer’s file.  Bruce set the computer to search for any connected history between Della Chiara’s various businesses and high-stakes crimes around Metropolis, while Dick asked Barbara to look into this new “courier service” coming to Gotham.  Their important work done, they returned to their own cabin for the rest of the night.

This was the first chance Dick had really had to explore the room.  It was plush, every item obviously chosen with comfort and luxury in mind.  He went around the room trying the couch and all the chairs just to see how they felt.  The biggest chair was so soft he almost couldn’t get up again by himself until he’d wriggled around to crawl out of it.  He tried to ignore the amused smirk on Bruce’s face as he got to his feet.

“That one’s dangerous,” he said, nodding solemnly.

Bruce raised an eyebrow.  “I noticed.  That’s probably because it’s meant for two people.”

Dick glared at the chair suspiciously.  “I feel sorry for whoever’s stuck on the bottom.”

Bruce chuckled and headed into the kitchenette.  “Do you want anything before bed?”

“Not unless you’re making something,” Dick said, leaning over the low countertop.  “I won’t lie, I’m a little tired.  I don’t think the nap helped too much.”

Bruce shrugged and shut the cabinet doors.  “Then we should head to bed.  Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”

Snippets of the conversations and innuendo from earlier in the day coupled with the vibrant images from the art gallery made Dick swallow hard at the thought of sharing a bed with Bruce, but he just nodded and smiled in reply.

He opted to take a quick shower before bed, giving himself a chance to prepare before the night.  It was really ridiculous of him to be so uptight; he’d shared a bed with Bruce plenty of times before without it being awkward.  Then again, the last time was when he was about thirteen and wasn’t concerned about anything romantic.  After so many years, Dick wasn’t really sure what he wanted.

Well, he knew what he _wanted_ , but he wasn’t too sure if it really was a good idea.

Bruce headed in after Dick was done, giving Dick time to investigate the bedroom more.  Although just as luxurious as the living room, it was rather ordinary in terms of hotel-type bedrooms.  There was a TV over a chest of drawers and the bed opposite it taking up most of the room, but otherwise it was fairly stark.  There was some sort of channel guide and what looked like small boxes of snacks below the TV, so he wandered over to see them.

There were exactly zero channels of anything other than porn of various tastes.

Oh.

Dick closed the channel booklet and pushed it aside.  Hopefully the mini snack boxes would be more wholesomely entertaining.

_Edible underwear._   _Edible tassels._   _‘Emergency’ lingerie._   _‘Sexy Night Pleasure Pack.’_

Right.  Couples cruise.  They were supposed to be a couple.

Hoo boy.

At the sound of the shower shutting off, Dick went to change for bed.  He had kind of suspected they might have to share a bed, so Dick had actually packed pajamas: an S-shield shirt and Bat-logo pants.  It might be a little much, but hey, nobody else was going to see them except Bruce.

He was just tucking himself in when Bruce came out of the bathroom.

“You were tired,” Bruce said, a hint of a smile on his lips as he put his clothes away.  He glanced over at the dresser, noticing-- because of _course_ he’d notice-- the new placement of the items.  “Anything interesting?”

Dick shook his head, unconsciously burrowing lower under the covers.  “Not really.  Although I’m kinda wondering what the ‘emergency lingerie’ is.  Not that I need to find out.”

He was thinking so hard about how to not make that sound as awkward as it came out that he only caught a brief glimpse of the odd look Bruce gave him.  Welp, no way to salvage that conversation.

He waited until Bruce was settled on the other side of the bed before speaking again.  “Well, g’night, Bruce.  Swee… uh, hope you sleep well!”  He rolled over onto his side, taking slow breaths to try and stop his pounding heart.

“Goodnight, Dick,” Bruce said, before the bed moved as he shifted, too.  He sounded so far away across the big bed, or maybe it was just Dick’s imagination.

Bruce turned off the light and the two of them were left alone together in the dark.

Dick sighed as he tried to shift into a more comfortable position.  He liked sleeping on his side, but not quite this close to the edge.  He hadn’t fallen out of bed in at least a year (practically a personal achievement considering how much he moved around in his sleep), but with his luck this would be the night to break that record.

This was ridiculous.  They had a king size bed and here Dick was squeezing himself onto only a foot of it.  He could scoot in farther and roll and still never come near Bruce.  At least then he’d be able to sleep a little better.  Steeling himself, he rolled over until he felt secure enough that he wasn’t going to fall off the bed.

Now that he was closer, Dick could see Bruce a little clearer.  He was laying on his back, eyes shut serenely as his chest rose and fell with his gentle breathing.  Dick couldn’t help a small chuckle; Bruce looked just like Damian, a soldier getting his necessary rest so he could spring into action when needed.

Somehow, that actually made him a little sad.

“Can’t sleep?” Bruce asked.

Dick jumped, not at all suspecting Bruce was still awake.  “Uh, yeah.  Just, um, a little uncomfortable.”  He could just make out Bruce nodding in response.

There was a long enough silence that Dick thought Bruce had really fallen asleep this time, before he spoke again.

“This isn’t the side I usually sleep on.”

Dick cocked his head in confusion.  “Huh?”

“The bed.”  Bruce turned his head to look at him, eyes open.  “I usually sleep on your side.”

Dick couldn’t see Bruce’s eyes clearly, but he could definitely feel their intensity from across the bed.  It took him a moment to find his voice.  “We.  We could switch?  I’d probably sleep better over there anyway.”

He hadn’t realized how far into the bed they both were until Bruce started to move to get up.  Dick didn’t want that to happen.  It was silly.  That was the most practical way of getting to the other side and he knew it.  But another thought seized him and would not let him go until he voiced it.

“We could switch here.”

Bruce paused and turned back to him.

“I mean, it’s comfy here and you don’t need to get up.  We could just… swap places.”

This time, Dick was grateful for the darkness that kept him from seeing Bruce’s full expression.  He’d probably sink straight through the floor and die if he did.

“Alright,” Bruce said, moving back towards the middle of the bed.  “I’ll go o--”

“No, I can go over!  I--”

They were face to face now, and one of them had to move.  Dick didn’t think he could stand it if Bruce climbed over him.  He’d probably make some embarrassing noise or whine and scar Bruce for life.

“I’ll climb over,” he said.  “I’m the flexible one.”

He swore the little huff of air Bruce made was a chuckle, and smiled.  Good.  Crisis averted.

Bruce laid down on his back, holding up the blankets with one arm.  “Alright.”

Dick took a deep breath and pushed himself up, being very, _very_ careful to make as little contact as possible.  It was all going perfectly until Bruce shifted slightly beneath him and dropped the blankets, which ended up pulling Dick down on top of him.  He face planted into Bruce’s shoulder, making a small noise of apology as he scrabbled to get back up.  Bruce seemed to be trying to help, grabbing Dick’s waist for added support, when one hand slipped down to his hip.

They froze.

Dick was so horribly keenly aware of the fact that he was all but straddling Bruce, their faces not six inches apart.  Bruce’s fingers were digging into his hip, and it took everything Dick had not to move or make a sound.  Hell, he barely breathed.  They stared at each other, neither one able to look away or read the other’s expression.

And then, just like that, the moment passed, and Bruce was helping Dick roll onto the other side.  Dick gracelessly collapsed on the bed, inching a little farther away for extra space.  The only sound was their alternating breaths, Dick’s loud and panicked, Bruce’s just deep.

Finally, Bruce cleared his throat.  “Well.  Goodnight, Dick.”

“G’night, Bruce.”

This time Bruce rolled over, facing away from Dick, while Dick just laid there trying to get his heart back out of his throat.

God.  What a way to end a night.


	8. Chapter 8

Once Dick fell asleep, the rest of the night was uneventful, and the next morning Dick woke up to find himself buried in blankets in an otherwise empty bed.

“B?  You up?”

No answer.

He sat up, about to get out of bed when the cabin door shut.  Barely half a minute later, Bruce entered the bedroom loosely wearing Adam McCloud’s wig and carrying a tray of food.

“I thought I should order some breakfast,” he said, still standing awkwardly just inside the doorway.  “It’ll give us more time to prepare for the day.”

“Right,” Dick said slowly, not quite sure if his comprehension was up to speed yet.  “That’s, that’s smart.”

Bruce nodded stiffly and brought the tray over, setting it on the uncovered part of the bed.  “Go ahead and take what you want.  I’ll go get silverware.”  He nodded again and hurried off before Dick could respond.

Dick uncovered the plates, making a happy sound at the smell of the food.  He tucked the blankets down by his feet and moved the tray to the center of the bed, making room for Bruce when he returned.

Dick couldn’t lie, his heart was definitely skipping a few beats as he settled in.  Bruce brought him breakfast in bed.  That was like the quintessential new couple routine.  Have breakfast in bed, cuddle, maybe have a little morning nookie and--

OK.  He needed to stop that line of thought real fast.

He was pretty much back to normal when Bruce returned, the wig off once again.

“Will that be enough?” Bruce asked, glancing at the plate Dick had taken for himself.

Dick laughed.  “It’s plenty, Bruce, trust me.”

They ate breakfast in relative silence, although Dick was absolutely sure Bruce kept looking at him like he wanted to say something.  Of course, considering how many glances of his own Dick was stealing, Bruce could’ve just been weirded out if he’d noticed.

Their hands hit as they both reached for the last piece of toast, their fingers intertwining accidentally.  Dick looked up at Bruce, his fingers instinctively curling against Bruce’s.

“Uh… You can have it,” he said, completely not OK with how breathy his voice sounded.

Bruce’s fingers curled and for a moment, Dick was sure he was about to fully take his hand.  But Bruce pulled away immediately, going for his mug.

“No, you take it,” Bruce said into his coffee, definitely avoiding Dick’s eyes.

Dick nibbled the toast slowly, trying not to pay attention to the slight flush on Bruce’s face.  It was the steam from his coffee.  That’s all it was.

That mortifying bit of awkwardness out of the way, the rest of the morning was spent checking the recordings (in which nothing of importance was heard) and getting into costume for the rest of the day.  They ended up running into the Della Chiaras as they were leaving their room.

“Ha!  You’re in our wing, too?  That’s wonderful!”  Antonio greeted them both warmly, while Claudia just smiled from behind him.  “I’m glad we found you so quickly.  The first real day out is my favorite of the trip.  Lots of great activities to set the mood.”

Dick was pretty sure his entire face froze in what was hopefully still a pleasant smile.  “That sounds great.”

“You bet it is, kiddo.”  He grinned as he led them towards the main hall.  “So, you two _sleep_ well?”

Maybe Dick was just hyper aware of the romantic part of this cruise that was not happening, or maybe he was thrown by the sudden clench of Bruce’s hand on his side, but the most response he could muster was a toothy smile and a nod.

Bruce seemed to fare better.  “Yes, we--  It was…”

Nope, no better.  Apparently Bruce had just realized the emphasis Antonio had placed on “sleep”.

“It was good,” Bruce finally said, a smile firmly planted on his lips.

“Only good?  Tsk tsk.”  Antonio shook his head and then laughed.  “Ah, I kid.  The first night is always not the best.  New bed, new place, you have to get used to the ship.  I’m sure tonight you two will feel very good.”

“I’m sure we will,” Dick said.

He was suddenly very grateful for Bruce telling him to tone down the accent.  He would absolutely not have been able to keep it up when he was just barely managing a friendly smile instead of the screaming terror he felt inside.  It would be fine, he’d said.  You’re wonderful at undercover work, he’d said, and yet here he was feeling like an awkward teenager on a class project with his crush.

On this tour of the ship, Antonio first took them to the ship’s library, filled with books ranging from erotica to sex manuals to how-to guides for any and all kinks one might want to know.  After managing to convince them to check out _The Best Gay Romance Stories of 2013_ and _A Ride a Day: How An Exciting Sex-life Improves Your Whole Life_ , Antonio led them to the ship’s theater to see if any films sparked their interest.  Politely declining this adventure, they promised the Della Chiaras they’d meet them for lunch and returned to their cabin.

“When you said we’d be tailing him, this was not exactly what I had anticipated,” Dick whispered as soon as they were safely out of earshot.

“You and me both.”

Bruce was holding the books away from him, the same way he handled contaminated suits or evidence.

“Give me those,” Dick said, reaching across him for the books anyway.  “You look awkward as hell like that.”

Bruce stopped just as Dick got a hold of the books, making Dick stumble into his chest.  Bruce’s arm instinctively wrapped around him to steady him.  It did, but the movement also pulled Dick closer against him.  They stood there like that for a minute, staring into each other’s eyes with equally stunned expressions.  The hand Dick had on the books loosened its grip at about the same time Bruce’s did.  The clattering thud of the books hitting the floor startled them back to themselves, and they quickly stepped away.

“I… um.”  Bruce avoided Dick’s gaze.  “I’ll get them.”

“No, I’ll get--”  They started down at the same time, then Dick stopped.  “Yeah, y-you get them.”

Bruce straightened and handed Dick the books, carefully keeping his eyes on their hands.

“Thanks.”

“We should get back to the room while we still have time.”

“Right.”

Bruce turned away sharply and headed off down the hall.  Dick followed him a little ways behind, desperately trying to convince himself the entire two weeks wouldn’t be like this.  They couldn’t be like this.

...Could they?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW This is the chapter with the semi-explicit masturbation scene! It's the last half of the chapter, so be careful. The rest of the fic is all PG-13 again. XD

They took the time that the Della Chiaras were at the theater to start bugging their room.  Work felt much more comfortable than anything else this trip, and Dick was glad for the distraction.  He and Bruce worked efficiently and easily as a team in the Bat mindset.  If there was a good way to transfer that ease over to their civilian life now, Dick didn’t know it.  It had been easier when he didn’t have a horrible case of pining for Bruce.

Their task complete, they changed back into their disguises and joined the Della Chiaras at their table.

“There’s games going on today in the entertainment deck,” Antonio said.  “And there’s one competition that’s my special favorite.  I think you two will enjoy it as well.”

“Yeah?  What is it?” Chester asked, leaning in in interest.

Antonio wagged a finger at him.  “Ah ah ah!  It’s a secret.  It’s always better when it’s a surprise.”

Chester pouted.  “If you say so….”

Dick was absolutely sure this game would not be better as a surprise in any way.  But who knew?  Maybe it’d turn out to be a simple game of couple’s tennis or hackeysack or… well, any kind of non-sexual game.

It could happen.

Antonio checked his watch.  “Perfect!  We have just enough time to finish lunch and get up there before the crowd starts.  You always want to get a good position.”

Chester beamed at Adam as if this was the most exciting thing in the world.  Adam smiled back, only the slightest hint of Bruce’s unease visible in his eyes.  They’d be fine.

Yeah.  It’d be fine.

They rushed through lunch and were whisked up to the entertainment deck.  People were already gathering in the main ballroom, many of them standing around what looked like a booth of some kind.  Antonio pulled them along to get in line.

“‘Registration booth’?” Adam read.  “What are we registering for?”

“You’ll see.”

He pushed them ahead to sign up first, also subtly making sure they couldn’t back out, Dick noticed.

The lady running the booth smiled pleasantly at them.  “Hello!  Are you the next couple registering?”

Chester glanced at Adam and nodded.  “We sure are.”

“Excellent!  Just fill in your names right here and I’ll get your numbers.”

As Adam leaned over to sign the roster, Chester glanced around, simply taking in the room.  There weren’t any game tables or courts drawn on the floor.  Whatever this competition was, it was not giving him a good feeling.

The woman smiled and held out their numbers.  “Here you go!  Team number 39.  Feel free to claim a spot anywhere.”

Chester nodded and led Adam off, just far enough to be away from the booth, but close enough to see Antonio.  “Could you see what this was about?” Dick whispered, not moving his mouth out of its slight smile.

“Not a thing,” Bruce whispered back.

Good.

Great.

The Della Chiaras joined them, leading them to an open spot on the floor.  “Alright, just put those on your backs there, and we’re all ready to go.”

“Is this like a dance off?” Chester asked, desperately hoping one thing would go right.

Antonio grinned.  “It’s better!”

That was decidedly not a promising prospect.

A few minutes later, after some more couples joined them, the hostess stood up to address the crowd.

“Hello, lovers!  Now, how many of you are with us for the first time?”

About half of the couples raised their hands.  When Chester and Adam didn’t raise their hands quickly enough, Antonio pushed them up.

“Wonderful!  Welcome, all of you new to us, and hello again to those of you who’ve been here before.”

Antonio beamed at his wife and wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Now, we’ll cover the rules.  You’ve each been given numbers which will help us keep track of your teams.  We’re going to play a song--” She gestured to two speakers in the front of the hall. “And you are going to try to keep kissing your partner until it ends.”

Dick’s eyes widened and he noticed Bruce blanching in his peripheral vision.

“Yes, this is Perfectly PDA!  Couples, get together.”

Antonio and Claudia moved close together, seeming suddenly oblivious to the rest of the room.

Bruce turned to Dick, holding out his arms as if preparing for a waltz.  Dick took a step in and gingerly placed a hand on Bruce’s shoulder and back.  Bruce was staring down at him with an odd look, but Dick was too focused on controlling himself to really see what it was.

“Couples.... Begin!”

The music started playing and Bruce leaned in, kissing Dick chastely.  No, _Adam_ was kissing _Chester_.  This was an act, and they could definitely keep this up for the whole song.  It was all for the case.  All for the….

It wasn’t fair.  Bruce was way too good of a kisser to be wasting their first kiss on a cruise game where they couldn’t even enjoy it.  Dick did his best to not huff in frustration and parted his lips slightly, trying to get a more comfortable placement for them if they were going to be like this for at least two more minutes.

The moment he did, however, the hand on his back pulled him closer and Bruce was suddenly kissing him in earnest.  Dick’s eyes flew open in shock, but no, he hadn’t spontaneously died and everything felt pretty solid, so he probably hadn’t fallen asleep standing up.  That pretty much left only one conclusion.

Bruce was genuinely kissing him.

OK.

Dick closed his eyes and kissed him back.  This was much more like he had imagined it.  Bruce’s lips were warm against his, and the slight catch of rough skin made his breath hitch in the best of ways.  He moved one hand to the back of Bruce’s head, not even paying attention to the music in the background.

Bruce’s tongue gently brushed his lips and Dick was more than eager to open his mouth wider.  This was exactly like how he’d thought it would feel from all his fantasies and wishes, except this felt a million times better because it was actually happening.  Bruce was actually holding him tight, and actually kissing him, and that was actually Bruce’s erection pressing against him, and--

_Oh!_

Dick rocked his hips forward and yep, that was definitely, _definitely_ Bruce’s penis poking his hip.  He let out a moan that he would probably have horrible second-hand embarrassment from if he’d heard anyone else make it, but right now he honestly couldn’t care less.  Right now, he just wanted to climb Bruce like a tree.

Bruce’s hands slid down to his thighs and suddenly he was hoisted up to Bruce’s level.  Dick wrapped his legs around him and moaned, the hand in Bruce’s hair sliding down to his neck.  It felt good.  Holy _shit_ , did it feel good.  This was perfect.  As far as Dick was concerned, they could keep at this for days.

He was vaguely aware of a strange ringing in his ears, the kind he’d get when he’d pull off his headphones to find his music had been a little too loud.  It was a loud absence of familiar sound.  Why on Earth was there sound that wasn’t there anymore?

The competition.  Kiss till the music ended.  They were completely in public.

Oh.

_Oh!_

Dick pulled away from Bruce, panting heavily.  Yep, the music was definitely over.  And people were staring.

Well, if he was ever going to find some sort of latent superpower, invisibility would be his top choice right now.

He looked down at Bruce’s face and, oh god, he wanted to kiss him all over again.  Bruce’s eyes were hazy, but still burning with an almost palpable want.  Dick swallowed thickly, but didn’t move.

Bruce didn’t move.

Dick wasn’t quite sure how long they stayed staring at each other before the hostess loudly announced, “And we have our winning couple!  Team 39!”  That seemed to snap Bruce out of his reverie.

He set Dick down gently, but firmly, immediately avoiding his eyes.

The hostess approached them with a trophy of golden lips.  “For the most passionate couple, the Golden Lips are for you.”

Bruce awkwardly took the trophy, still seemingly not quite himself yet.  Dick managed a weak smile, hoping everyone would just think their little makeout session had left them a little out of it, when Bruce smiled.

_Brucie_ smiled.

God dammit.

He let out a nervous laugh as Brucie pulled him to his side and kissed the top of his head.  That was definitely not the character anyone had seen of Adam, and this awful game was going to ruin their entire case because Bruce couldn’t handle his own damn emotions.

Not that Dick was handling his much better, but still.  It was the principle of the thing.

The hostess started handing out other trophies, but Dick wasn’t paying attention to her anymore.  His focus was taken up by the Della Chiaras coming over to congratulate them on several counts, and Brucie, who was only getting more potent the longer they lingered.

Dick grabbed his arm and smiled what he hoped looked like an excited Chester smile instead of the half-mad grimace it felt like.  “We should go… _take care_ of a few things.  We’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Don’t rush yourselves on our account,” Antonio said, waving them off.  “You two enjoy yourselves.”

“Oh, we will,” Brucie said, hooking his arm around Dick’s waist to sweep him out of the room.

They didn’t speak the entire walk back.  Dick stared at the trophy Bruce had handed him somewhere along their trip and tried not to focus on his growing panic or his already grown erection.  He was slightly disappointed in himself that Brucie hadn’t been an instant boner kill, but then he thought back to their kiss and nope, nothing was stopping it now.

The second they were safely inside their cabin with the door firmly shut, Bruce let go of him, heading to the bathroom before Dick could say a word.

Fine, then.  Fine.

Dick dropped the trophy on the breakfast table and stormed into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind him.  He flopped backwards onto the bed, begrudgingly grateful that Bruce had taken the tray off of it earlier.  He kicked off his shoes and pushed himself up onto the bed, covering his eyes with one arm.

This was bullshit, that’s what it was.  That kiss he’d had with Bruce absolutely ranked in the top three best kisses of his life and it was completely unfair that Bruce had to ruin it all by… well, by not kissing him again the instant they were back in the room.

But of course he wouldn’t have.  It was all an act, all part of the disguise so Della Chiara would trust them and so they wouldn’t look suspicious.  It had all felt spontaneous to him, but of course Bruce would have already planned every move so there would be no surprises for him.  Hell, just like at the art gallery, his erection had been nothing more than an automatic physical reaction.  Dick was the one reading into things, so of course he was the one horribly disappointed.

He groaned, moving his other hand to his groin.  He was still pretty damn hard.  Well, at least he could take out his frustration in a mostly positive way.

He squeezed himself through his jeans, biting back another moan.  God, he’d been so loud during the game.  And he’d been in public, too!  That was so embarrassing.  And yet, thinking about it didn’t make him go soft at all, because thinking about himself moaning brought him to thinking about what was making him moan, and oh god, that was way too good to quit.

His hand slid up, undoing the button of his pants.  He could almost feel Bruce’s hands on him, feel the weight of him pressing into him, holding him.  He knew what that felt like now and that was good.  He could add that to future fantasies if he wanted that special touch of real.

He wondered what would have happened if they hadn’t stopped.  Would Bruce have kept going?  Would he have spooked when he realized people were watching?  What if no one was watching?  What if Bruce had decided to continue when they returned to the cabin?  Bruce’s hands would be on him again, grabbing him, his whole body leaning into him.  He’d be kissing him again, longer this time.  Harder.

Dick finally reached flesh and moaned, wrapping his hand around his cock.  It could be Bruce’s hand making him moan and arch himself upwards.  He’d get to hear what Bruce sounded like when he moaned.  He wondered if it was loose and wild like his own, or more restrained like the Bat.  He wasn’t sure which idea felt sexier.

Of course, Bruce had moaned when they were kissing.  Dick could still hear the echoes of it in his memory.  He hadn’t noticed it at the time, but then again, it didn’t quite sound like anything he’d expected.  Probably all of that Bat-training keeping Bruce controlled even in pleasure.  He tried to recall that moan again, smiling when he finally heard it.  This time it did sound less controlled.  It sounded hot and a little desperate, with a nice reverb on it to--

Dick’s eyes flew open.  There had definitely not been an echo in the ballroom, not with all the people in there.  The only way he’d be hearing a moan with an echo is if Bruce was….

He nearly tripped on his pants as he stumbled to the wall connected to the bathroom, somehow managing to not run headfirst into it.  Still on his knees from where he landed, he pressed his ear against the wall and closed his eyes, trying to focus his senses to pick up any kind of noise he might hear.

There was a loud grunt followed by a quieter moan right above his head.

Oh god, Bruce was masturbating right there.

Dick raised himself up, still keeping his ear against the wall.  He thought he could just make out the sounds of skin on skin, and that made him start up again.  Even if it was in his imagination, he knew what it should sound like and that was enough.

Slowly, his rhythm matched the one he could hear through the wall.  He bit down on his free hand to keep himself from moaning, not just because he didn’t want to give himself away, but mostly because he wanted to hear every sound Bruce made.  With every stroke he made, he imagined Bruce doing the same.  He tried to imagine what Bruce must look like in there.  Unraveled, panting, bracing himself on the wall while he indulged in this one sinful pleasure.

Dick had to open his eyes and lean away before he moaned loud enough for Bruce to hear.

When he leaned back in, everything was silent.  He didn’t hear water running or footsteps to say Bruce was finished, and the door hadn’t opened, but everything was quiet.

Suddenly, there was a sharp intake of breath followed by a moan.

No, a word.

No.  A name.

“Dick….”

Dick clamped a hand over his mouth and nose to keep himself from even breathing in case even that would make too much noise.  Bruce had just…  That meant he really must have….

There was a loud grunt, a couple of soft moans, and a relieved sigh.

Oh god.  He came thinking about Dick.

That thought alone was enough to push Dick over the edge, and he let himself breathe just through his nose, not trusting himself to keep quiet yet.  He looked down at his hand covered in cum and let out a soft whine.  Bruce would be doing the same, maybe imagining it was Dick’s that he was covered with, the way Dick was imagining Bruce’s there.

The sound of the sink being turned on brought Dick back to his senses.  He had to move and he had to clean up before Bruce came out and found him like this.  He pushed himself up on still-shaky legs and forced himself over to the end table to wipe himself off.

Dick was dressed and back on the bed when Bruce emerged.  He looked neat and composed, and some little part of Dick kinda hated him for that.

“We’re going into Della Chiara’s room tonight.  At 0200, we’ll leave from our base and enter through his window.  This is to scare him, let him know Batman and Nightwing are watching.  We’ll return to base and immediately change back into our disguises.  If we’ve done our jobs right, he’ll come to us for protection.”  Batman looked at Dick’s face for the first time since returning.  “Do you have any questions?”

Dick shrugged.  “Nope.  Seems pretty standard.”  He blinked slowly up at Bruce, hoping his expression looked as unruffled as Bruce seemed to be.  “Guess we should head back out and join them?”

If there was a little bit of Bruce-- a hidden Bruce-- that flickered in Batman’s expression, it was gone as soon as it appeared.  “Yes.  We should.”

Dick took a deep breath to try and steel himself, and as soon as he was off the bed, Chester’s smile was back.  “Let’s go get ‘em, partner.”


	10. Chapter 10

The rest of that afternoon and evening went well, even if Dick did spend most of it trying to keep himself from having a hysterical breakdown from all the questions and insinuations from Antonio.

Oh yeah.  Now he had no qualms about bringing the guy in.

That night, Bruce and Dick went over their plan of attack while they waited for the Della Chiaras to be… _done_ and go to bed.  Neither of them brought up the kiss or the competition itself, but Dick resolved that once their work was done, he was throwing that damn trophy into the sea.  Garth could have it.

Eventually the room beside them went quiet.  Bruce nodded to Dick, and the two of them went to change.   _This_ felt right.  Getting into costume, slowly becoming the sure and steadfast creatures of the night.  As Nightwing, the day’s events didn’t seem so bad.  All the awkwardness and confusion felt distant, like an old report, not actual lived history.

“Ready when you are, boss.”

Batman nodded.  “Let’s go.”

They climbed out of the living room window, inching along the side of the ship until they reached the Della Chiara’s cabin.  Dick eased the window opened, allowing Bruce to slip in and cut the lights.  It had been a _long_ time since they had done a job like this, but it felt like nothing had changed.  They both knew all the steps, every move to be made, and Dick was pretty sure they would have even without their earlier briefing.  It just felt right working as a team like this.

Nightwing perched himself on top of the dresser, smirking as Batman stood over Antonio’s side of the bed.

“ _Antonio Della Chiara._ ”

Dick had to shove the back of his hand against his mouth to keep himself from laughing at the way Antonio jolted awake.

“What?  Who the--?  What the--?”  Antonio flailed for the lamp on the nightstand, but it was too far out of his reach.  He looked up and his eyes went wide with fear at the sight of the glowing lenses of Batman’s cowl.  “Claudia!”

Nightwing sat up as she whipped around towards Batman, gun instantly leveled at his chest.

“Whoa there!”  Nightwing tossed a wingding at her wrist a second before a batarang carried the gun across the room.  “Let’s all play nice, now.”

Claudia cradled her injured arm, glaring in Nightwing’s direction.  She turned slowly, lowering her arms as if going for another weapon.

“Ah ah ah!”  Nightwing wagged his finger.  “Sorry, you only get one warning shot.  I wouldn’t go for anything else if you like your hands working.”

Batman looked back down at Antonio.  “What are your plans in Gotham, Della Chiara?”

He glanced between Batman and Nightwing, looking increasingly panicked.  “What?  No, no plans!  What plans?!  I’ve got no plans for Gotham.”

Batman’s eyes narrowed.  “Haven’t you.”

“Of course not!  I’m just a small-time businessman.  Strictly Metropolis based.”

“Then I guess Roland Daggett wouldn’t know who you are, huh?” Nightwing said, still keeping an eye on Claudia.

Antonio pushed himself up against the headboard.  “Wh- Who?  D-don’t think I’ve heard of him.”

“That’s surprising,” Batman said.  “Considering he’s now invested in three of your businesses.”

Antonio swallowed hard, but apparently decided to give up the ignorant act.  “How the hell do you freaks find out these things?”

Nightwing smiled.  “We’ve got eyes everywhere.”

Batman grabbed Antonio and pulled him up, leaving only inches between their faces.  Claudia started to move for him, but Nightwing threw another wingding, this one missing her nose by a hair’s-breadth.  He wagged his finger at her again.

“I’m only going to tell you _once_ , Della Chiara,” Batman growled.  “Stay out of Gotham.  If I find you _or_ your business there, you’ll be returning to Metropolis in a full body cast.”

Antonio scoffed.  “You wouldn’t,” he said, with a calm bravado.  “Even in Gotham, a citizen’s got rights!  And you hero types don’t go in for threats.”

“You’re thinking of Superman.”  Batman smirked.  “I’m not Superman.”

Antonio blanched.

Batman dropped him back onto the bed.  “You won’t get a second warning.”

That was Nightwing’s cue.  He tossed a small smoke pellet against the end of the bed, leaping off the dresser as soon as it burst.  They slipped out of the room under the cover of the thick smoke, making it back to their base cabin by the time the Della Chiaras were making it to the windows.

Dick had never undressed faster in his life and still Bruce was already pulling on his wig by the time he was grabbing his non-Bat pajamas.  “I’m starting to think your costume’s a breakaway.”

A twitch of a smile flashed across Bruce’s face.  “Check them.”

Dick placed in his contact, blinking quickly as he grabbed the headset.  “Smoke’s clearing.  They’re talking about what to do.  Can you believe _she’s_ his bodyguard?  How didn’t we know that?”

Bruce grunted.  “It seems I wasn’t as thorough as I thought with her background check.  Where are they now?”

“Um, sounds like they’ve moved into the living room and…  Yep!  They’re headed here.  I heard them say Adam.”

Bruce grabbed Dick’s arm.  “Come on.  We need to be in our own room when they get here.”

“Right,” Dick said, trying to hold onto that work mindset even as Bruce’s hand felt like it was burning into him.

They had just settled onto the bed when a knock came on their door.  “Adam!  Chester!  It’s Antonio.  We need your help.”

Bruce nodded to Dick and stood up, casually pulling his dressing gown onto his shoulders.  He stood in the doorway, waiting for another knock and call before he moved again.

Dick propped himself up on his elbows, trying to look sleepily interested in what was happening.

“Antonio?  What happened?  You two look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Adam said, letting them in.  “Claudia, you’re hurt!  Ches!  Ches, get a cold towel and see if there’s bandages.”

Dick hopped out of bed and headed to the bathroom, leaving the door open to hear the conversation.

“It was horrible.  You’re moving to Gotham.  You’ve heard about that Batman that’s got the city under his control?”

“I, I think so,” Adam said.  “I’ve heard rumors, but I’ve been told that’s all they are.”

“They’re not!” Antonio said.  “He’s real and he’s here on this ship!  He was in our room!  Here, look at these.”

Dick grabbed the bandages and hurried out to the main room.

“You really saw the Batman?” Chester asked, bringing the supplies over to Claudia.  “Why would he be here?”

“Well, he is,” Antonio said.  “Look what he did to Claudia.”

Adam unfolded the small bundle Antonio had given him.  A batarang and two wingdings lay stacked atop each other, wrapped in a hand towel.  “You got these from the Batman?”

Antonio nodded.  “He threw those at us.  One of them hit my poor Claudia.”

Adam wrapped them up again.  “What do you want me to do with them?”

“Use them!  Dust them for fingerprints!” Antonio sputtered.  “We’re helpless here.  Sitting ducks!  You’ve got to help us.  Be our extra security, please.  They could be anywhere.”

“They?” Chester asked.  “Isn’t there only one Batman?”

“There was another one,” Claudia said.  “I don’t know who he was, but he wasn’t dressed like the Batman.”

Dick wasn’t gonna lie, he was a little hurt she didn’t know his name, too.  Apparently he needed to start making a bigger impression in Gotham.

Chester looked up at Adam.  “Gee, A, we gotta help somehow.”

Adam nodded.  “I will do everything I can,” he said to Antonio.  “Do you feel safe returning to your room, or would you like to stay here tonight.”

“I don’t think they’ll return,” Claudia said.  “They came to scare us.  I think they’ll give us the night, at least.”

“Maybe in the morning we should talk to ship security,” Chester said.

“No, no.  That won’t help,” Antonio said.  “We don’t know who they are or where they could be.  They could even have security under their control.  I trust you’ll be able to handle it, Adam.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Claudia squeezed Chester’s hand in thanks for tending to her, and stood up.  “Come on, darling.  Let’s go back to bed.  We won’t solve anything tonight.”

Antonio held her arm, letting her guide him to the door.  “Yes, dear.  Thank you, both of you.”

Adam nodded and patted his shoulder.  “I’ll do everything I can, I promise.”  He handed the towel to Chester and walked the Della Chiaras back to their cabin.

Dick waited until the door was shut before heading into the second cabin to put away their equipment.  He was still there when the door of the McCloud’s cabin opened and shut again.  He started to call out to Bruce, but caught himself.  If Bruce was alone, he’d let him know.

Sure enough, a few seconds later Bruce walked in through the adjoining door.  “Well, you look like you enjoyed that.”

“I did,” Dick said, grinning.  “Nice of them to return our stuff.  We should leave them a Bat-thank you card.”

“Let’s not.”

They filled out their reports and took off their disguises in companionable silence.  It felt good.  The case was going exactly as they’d planned.  All they had to do now get a little more information and they’d be able to turn the Della Chiaras over to the GCPD the second they stepped foot in Gotham.

It all felt like smooth sailing.


	11. Chapter 11

The Della Chiaras were surprisingly hard to track down the next day.  It seemed that Antonio didn’t want to be very far away from people.  The Batman wouldn’t appear in public, and so that was where he was determined to stay.

“I’m afraid we couldn’t get any fingerprints off the weapons,” Adam told them when they finally found them at lunch.  “I would need actual equipment to find out anything else.  You said they were trying to scare you.  Do you know why?”

“He wants me to stay out of Gotham,” Antonio said, clutching his glass of scotch tighter in his hand.  “He threatened to harm me if I move my business there.  But he can’t do that!  That’s against the law.”

“Well, he is a vigilante,” Chester said.  “Isn’t working against the law what they do?”

“I made some calls to the people I’ll be working for,” Adam said, leaning in and lowering his voice.  “I’d only heard that the Batman was an urban legend, some story the police used to scare people back in line.  I didn’t think much of him.  But I talked to one of my bosses last night and he said the reason my position opened was because the Batman had brought in the old head of security.  It seems he was helping the ex-president smuggle secrets to foreign powers.  The Batman caught him and took down the entire security team.”

Antonio shook his head and leaned against Claudia.  “I’m too old for this Bat nonsense.  You’d never find anyone like him in Metropolis!  At least Superman leaves us well enough alone.”

“You shouldn’t let him scare you, darling,” Claudia said.

“Why shouldn’t I?  Should I let him come after my children?  My other businesses?  You?”  He patted her hand.  “I’m only mad about him on principle.  Gotham can keep its damn Bat.  There’s other cities to work in.”

Dick shot a glance as Bruce even as Chester asked, “Are you gonna be losing a lot of opportunities?”

“Nothing I can’t find someplace else.”  Antonio reached out and clapped Adam’s shoulder.  “Thank you for looking into this, son.  I spent a lot of time thinking last night and you helped me make up my mind.”

Adam squeezed his hand.  “I’m happy to have helped.  I wish I could do more.”

“No more is necessary, my boy.”  Antonio finished his drink and set the empty glass down with a thud.  “Enough of this brooding!  This is a vacation.  We’re supposed to be happy.  I think perhaps Claudia and I will go out for a stroll, eh, love?  You two go enjoy yourselves.  You don’t have to stick around us all day.”  With a hearty hug to both of them, the Della Chiaras headed off toward the upper deck.

As soon as they were completely out of sight, Dick looked at Bruce.  “Well, that went better than expected.”

“Yes, it did.  We should still listen in on him for a few nights to make sure he’s telling the truth, but… I suppose that means our case is finished.”

Dick nodded slowly.  “Yeah, I guess it is.”  He cocked his head, eyeing Bruce to try and read his body language, but of course the Bat was keeping himself frighteningly neutral.  “So, what now?”

Bruce pursed his lips ever so slightly, a habit Dick knew him to do when he was making a sudden or uncomfortable decision.  “We should add this to the report and then I think I’m going to rest.  Would you like to join me?”

Dick’s eyes widened.  “I, um, ah….”  He felt his face start to flush and stood up sharply.  “Reports!  Yes.  We should do that.”

Smooth.


	12. Chapter 12

He and Bruce didn’t talk the entire way back to their cabin and only shared the briefest of exchanges as they filled out their reports.

Oh yeah, he blew it.  Big time.

“I’m going to go lie down now,” Bruce announced, pausing in the doorway of the bedroom.

“Have a good nap,” Dick said, very pointedly not looking away from his screen.  He’d already screwed up, so there was no sense in trying to fix it now.

As soon as the bedroom door shut, Dick dropped his head on his keyboard.  Only a week and a half more to go!  What a wonderful prospect.

His laptop suddenly beeped at him and he sat up, looking at a blank page where his report had been.  “Sonuva….”

The day was just getting better and better.  Maybe if he threw himself overboard, he could go hide out with Garth for a while, visit his family, pretend he’d died until Bruce forgot how horribly awkward this whole thing had been.  Yeah, that was a good strategy.

Grumbling to himself, Dick got up and grabbed Bruce’s laptop to start rewriting his report.  At least he wouldn’t be necessarily wasting time.  Hell, if he typed fast enough, he could have this finished before Bruce woke up and found out what he’d done.

…

Oh, who was he kidding?  Bruce had probably sensed his failure in his dream already.  Freaking Bat-sense.

Bruce had helpfully compiled all his notes into one document, including his pre-trip thoughts about the case.  Dick had always liked reading Bruce’s first insights.  They had helped him form his own strategies for tackling different situations and taught him how to look broadly at a case to see all its angles upfront.

_Della Chiara’s operations are small, still family-run, and tend to serve the wealthier of Metropolis businesses.  The MPD has been keeping tabs on him for some time.  He seems interested in Gotham, but is decidedly uninterested in conflicts.  Since retiring from running the businesses himself, he has spent most of his time out of the public eye or on vacation.  I consider him a very minimal threat if he’s a threat at all.  The first hint of trouble would scare him out of Gotham for good.  I must accomplish this in the first two days to give me plenty of time with Dick.’_

Dick blinked blankly at the screen.  If Bruce didn’t see Della Chiara as a threat to Gotham at all, and had already guessed how he would react to meeting Batman, then there was no real need for them to have come on this cruise.  Well, no real need except for “plenty of time with Dick.”

His heart started pounding.  He felt two-thirds giddy and about one-third pissed off, because of _course_ Bruce had even had this planned out, the loser, and of _course_ he couldn’t just tell Dick how he felt because Bat whatever....

His thoughts rapidly devolving to alternating grumbling noises and giddy squeals, Dick headed for the bedroom.  He didn’t knock, nor was he particularly quiet about opening and shutting the door.  He and Bruce were going to talk if he had to tie Bruce down and make him talk.

Hmm.  Now there was an idea.

Bruce was on his side of the bed, lying on his back.  He opened his eyes at the sound of the door shutting.  “Decided to rest after all?”

“Nope.”

Bruce’s brows furrowed.  “Do you need something for your report?”

“I have to redo it.  I accidentally deleted it.”  Dick raised a hand as Bruce started to get up.  “No, no!  That’s not the point.  Stay there.  I want to talk to you.”

Bruce leaned back on his elbows.  “Alright.”

It took everything in Dick’s power not to cross his arms.  This was a position he’d been in before, sure, dressing down other teammates who had kept information from him, but he had been the leader then.  The dynamics had been completely different.  Now, he was about to lecture _Batman_ about withholding information… and maybe even try to flirt with him while doing it.

No pressure.

“You knew Della Chiara would be scared of the Bat, didn’t you?”

Bruce didn’t so much as blink.

“We could have dropped in on him any time he was in Gotham and achieved the same result.”

“It’s probable,” Bruce said slowly, not taking his eyes off of Dick’s.  “He is more isolated here, however.  It was easier for us to acquire information here.”

“Information you already had before we started this case.”

Batman’s eyes narrowed.  “You read my notes.”

“Like I said, I have to redo my report.  I wanted to use what you had.”  Dick almost swore the very corner of Bruce’s mouth curled up for a split second.  That was a good sign it was time to make a move.

“I think you knew this would be an easy case,” Dick said, taking a step toward the bed.

Bruce didn’t move.

“I think you wanted an excuse to be alone, without the family or Gotham or anything that could keep us apart.”

Bruce inched a little closer to the center of the bed as Dick walked, as if subtly inviting him in.

“You wrote that you wanted to spend time with me.”  Dick’s knees hit the mattress.  “I’m starting to think that’s what this whole thing was about.”

Bruce stared at him, his eyes burning the same way they had after their kiss.  The look sent a jolt straight to Dick’s groin and he shuddered as he climbed onto the bed.

“I think you wanted us to be on a romantic cruise.  Just the two of us for two whole weeks.”

And now it looked like Bruce had stopped breathing.

“I’m not mad, Bruce,” Dick said, trying to push down the half-joyful, half-hysterical laughter that was threatening to bubble up on him.  That would definitely not work with smouldering flirting.  “I actually think it’s pretty romantic.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow.  “Do you?”

“Sure I do.  You thought about our old cases, found something that would fit the framework you wanted, and now here we are.”  Dick smiled.  “That’s pretty sweet in a very _you_ kind of way.”

For the first time, Bruce dropped his gaze, a very faint blush at the base of his ears.

“I was actually going to tell you after this was all wrapped up,” Bruce said, stiltedly.  “The kissing contest… _disrupted_ my plans a bit.”

Dick chuckled and dropped his head.  “It kinda threw both of us for a loop, yeah.”

Bruce looked up at him again, plopping back against the bed.  “I had wanted it to go differently.  I had planned....”

Dick laid down beside him, resting a hand on Bruce’s chest.  “Yeah?  What had you planned?”

Bruce shifted a little closer to Dick.  “A midnight stroll.  We’d find some place secluded and I could try and… tell you.  You’re good with words, so I wanted to make the effort to say it for you, but….”

“But?”

Bruce looked down at Dick’s hand.  “I didn’t want to hear you say no.”

Dick rubbed his forehead against Bruce’s shoulder.  “I’d never say no.  I really liked that kiss, you know.”

“Situational arousal.”

“What?”  Dick propped himself up, half glaring down at Bruce.  “Are you trying to tell me that’s what it was?  Seriously?”

“In the heat of the moment, you don’t know for sure--”

“I _liked_ it,” Dick repeated.  He leaned in until his lips were only inches away from Bruce’s.  “Maybe you should kiss me again, see if I change my mind.”

Bruce didn’t need to be told twice.

He pulled Dick down on him, one hand in his hair, and kissed him deeply.  If he hadn’t already, Dick now completely understood why all of Bruce’s partners swooned over him.  He shimmied on top of Bruce, straddling him over the blankets.  It may not have been as needy as their first kiss, but it was certainly no less passionate.

When they broke apart, Bruce was studying Dick’s face carefully, dark eyes lidded as he waited for a reaction.

Dick looked down at him, panting softly.  A thousand things flashed through his head of what he wanted to say to Bruce, what he wanted to do with him.  He exhaled and smiled.

“Better pull back the covers, B,” he said.  “I still like it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da! It's finally all finished. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it!


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